Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Why do ugly men flirt with girls that are really hot?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I actually pay taxes

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Is it true that most people in Québec are bilingual in French and English? If so, why do they often identify as monolingual?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t buy bullshit

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Massive Asteroid Bigger Than the Empire State Building is Racing Toward Earth - The Daily Galaxy

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I see through liars

How do I rat my boss out for serial cheating on his wife?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

What is your secret to glowing skin?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I can count

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

What are some reasons why some men choose to live alone instead of getting married?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

How do flat earthers explain the Earth being stationary? Is this concept considered impossible?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

What is the correct way to say "my pleasure" in French in the context of having given a gift?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

What happens if someone fills up their car at the pump but leaves without paying? How is this situation typically handled?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand how hurricane paths work

Solar 'cannonballs' may have stripped Mars of its water, long-awaited study reveals - Live Science

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

If English makes 3 additional gender terms to accommodate for XXX, XXY, and XYY people, what would be the most realistic terms for those genders?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I can read

What is the reasoning behind conspiracy theorists claiming that there were multiple shooters involved in the JFK assassination?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Watch These Broadcom Stock Price Levels After Post-Earnings Slide - Investopedia

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

What has been your best sexual experience?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Texas woman died after rinsing sinuses with infected tap water — here’s how to keep yourself safe - New York Post

I have a reading level above third grade

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t